Pythonesque Presbyterians...

“I’m A Calvinist”
(Sung to the tune of ‘I’m a Lumberjack’)

I’m a Calvinist and I’m okay,I know where I’m going on Judgment Day!

I was depraved, to-tal-ly
Now unconditionally elect
I received that limited atonement
Saving me from heck!

Oh, I’m a Calvinist, and I’m okay,
I know where I’m going on Judgment Day!

I’ve got some grace, irresistible,
With the saints, I’ll persevere,
Someday we’ll be in heaven,
Hey, is it getting hot in here?

Well, I’m a Calvinist and I’m okay,
I know where I’m going on Judgment Day!

I am Reformed, Presbyterian,
But no one knows what that means,
We’ve got great ecclesiology,
And TULIP’s in the green!

I guess, I’m a Calvinist and I’m okay,
I know where I’m going on Judgment Day!

Confessional, varietous,
We argue and never get bored.
That Spirit is empowering us,
To always love the Lord.

Oh, I’m a Calvinist and I’m okay,
I know where I’m going on Judgment Day.
-Peter Hofstra, opiner